When Fathers Stay Silent

When I’m out and about, I often quietly admire young dads who I spot early in the morning pushing buggies hurriedly, or during the after school pick-up, maybe stopping by the small park near a particular school, and rambling with their little ones. These are images of fathers which are seldom presented in society - but they’re definitely there. 

I do become very nostalgic, thinking back to my own late husband’s beautiful examples of fatherhood - images surge of him chasing my eldest daughter around the park whilst she screamed with glee. A heartwarming memory! But that alone isn’t what made him such an excellent father and husband. This was achieved by following godly principles. Oh, don’t assume he was perfect - nobody is. But there is one area in which  he excelled above many dads who struggled - his voice was heard within the household. 

What do I mean by that? Did he holler at the top of his voice to be heard? Did he stomp around in a rage and call it ‘disciplining’ his children? No. He was one of the quietest human beings you could have met - and yet he was fully aware of his God-given authority as a father and husband. And he would conduct that authority gently and with understanding. He never raised his voice - and yet our children knew when they were being disciplined. He knew how to get down in the dirt and play hard with the children- but they always knew when playtime was over. He would lead family devotions - and encourage the ‘worship leader’ (our youngest) to bring out her toy guitar and microphones, followed by our eldest, who would ‘bring the word’. (I still have one of her earliest ‘sermons’, which she wrote - all seven lines of it! 😂). 

When the children got it wrong, he would be quick to correct. When they got it right, he was quick to praise. He was a real presence in their lives. And it’s that presence that ensured his voice was heard, cherished and obeyed. Ouch! Did I just use that very old-fashioned unspeakable word in today’s modern society? The one that’s now been written out of most marriage vows? Before you become a little prickly about it, look at the model I’ve outlined above. Many of us struggle at the thought of obeying a husband because you don’t imagine yourselves to be on the same page about absolutely everything. The good news is, when God is in it, your voice will also be heard, and most of the time you will have a real ‘peace which surpasses all understanding’ that will ‘keep your hearts and minds’ - Phil 4:7. But when that doesn’t happen - don’t assume God can’t work it out. He can and He will.  But God establishes an order within families, and you can always tell when that order has been disrupted. Just like a piece removed from the middle of a Jenga game, the whole family unit can disintegrate and become dysfunctional.  My focus here is on the father’s role - something rarely focused on. There  are indeed other considerations to be had.

Let me present you with a biblical model of this. Now I love those Bible animations on YouTube - I consume them regularly and absolutely love them! I watched one recently about the harrowing story of Dinah, Jacob’s only daughter. Now I’ve read this story a few times over many years - a story of the sexual abuse of  Dinah, with a devastating impact on a whole nation, who were slaughtered because of it. (You can read the full story in Gen 34). I’ve always been disgusted by the sheer depravity of Shechem, the rapist, a man of wealth and power - and zero self-control. However, the Holy Spirit highlighted a crucial lesson to be learned. Where was Jacob’s voice? Jacob and his family had only recently come to settle in the land. He had only one daughter, who he should have protected diligently, in a patriarchal society, as things were back then.  Very telling, is Jacob’s response, when he heard about his daughter’s abuse. Verse 5 of Genesis 34 states: ‘and Jacob held his peace until they (his sons) came home’. Why did he do this? His daughter had been utterly ravaged …and he said nothing? Again, verse 13 states: ‘ and the sons of Jacob answered Shechem and Hamir…’ revealing that Jacob was yet again, silent. He was leaving the discourse of such a life-altering topic, which would have far-reaching and permanent ramifications etched into Israel’s history, in the hands of his sons - an utter disruption to God’s divine order. You can perhaps see now how Dinah,  was left without the protection she ought to have been afforded by her father. I certainly hadn’t seen this before.

The Bible does not shy away from such uncomfortable topics. It is more than a book, it is alive and speaks still to us today. It says: “Where is the father‘s voice?” 

If you are reading this, you certainly don’t have to agree with all I’ve said… But what you absolutely must do, is agree with what the Word of God says - it’s never wrong. The evidence is before us: The chaos that ensues wherever fathers remove themselves from their God given responsibilities, or even if they are present and they remove their voices. Fathers, I appeal to you, follow these biblical principles. Mothers, daughters, sons and brothers, I appeal to you also: know your godly place within the family - allow fathers to be heard - do not disrupt God’s divine line of authority.

By no means is this  “happily ever after” advice, but over time it will certainly make for a more peaceful household, step by humble step.

Thanks for reading - please comment and share!

Peacebrown

A Very Messy Gospel

‘It’s not how you begin - it’s how you end’. Have you ever heard that quote?  (Or some semblance of it!).  A pertinent thought as we approach the end of the year. 

Above is a map of the route taken by the Israelites, led by Joshua, to  enter the land promised to them by God. Now this isn’t your cue to yawn and switch off! There are some fascinating pointers to highlight here! 😆

First, take a look at that starting point, just above and to the right of the Dead Sea. It’s called ‘Shittim’. (You can read the whole story in Joshua chapters 3-6). On delving into this place, I discovered it was a place frequented by those visiting prostitutes. If you know the story of Joshua sending out two men to spy out the land ahead of his conquest, you’ll know that this was the very first place that these two spies headed for on their arrival. When I realised this, the whole crossing Jordan story suddenly felt far from holy. Where were these polished, courageous spies of this story which I heard multiple times growing up, who always appeared to be so unblemished  as they pursued the commission given to them by God? 

The next place I would like to point out is ‘Gilgal’. It’s directly above the Dead Sea on the map. In Joshua 5: 9,  after the miraculous crossing of Jordan, God commands Joshua to set up a memorial for the Israelites to remember and recount the story of His miraculous deliverance, for future generations. They were commanded to draw stones from the Jordan River and place them in Gilgal in remembrance.  God then speaks these remarkable words: ‘Today I have rolled away the reproach of Egypt from you’. The “ reproach” refers to the suffering experienced by the Israelites under Pharaoh’s tyrannical leadership. “Egypt” also links to our sin and immorality before a holy God. But check out how this links to Christ: the reproach was “rolled  away“ – just as the stone of Christ’s tomb was rolled away. Our sins, through Christ, have been forgiven! No matter where we’ve been, or what we’ve done, when we accept Christ, we accept His forgiveness! Now that is good news! 

Speaking of this Jordan river , let’s just pause right here to think about it’s significance. That was one stinky river! It was known for its filth. And yet it was the same river that a high ranking and noble army officer called Naaman was instructed to go and wash in SEVEN times to be cleansed of  leprosy. (Read it in 2 Kings:5). When I call this blog a “very messy gospel“, this is the reason why: very often, the only way out is through. Many times, deliverance comes in ways we would never dream of. God’s ways are above our ways but one thing is for sure – following his instructions to completion is crucial to secure our victory. Have you noticed the number seven that has occurred both in the Jordan River Crossing, and in Naaman’s Cleansing? Seven is God’s number of completion. If Naaman Had become disillusioned after the sixth time, he would not have seen his miracle. If the Israelites had grown weary after marching around Jericho six times, they would not have seen their miracle.

And finally, we arrive at Jericho, where we know that the Israelites secured further supernatural victory. God gave specific instructions to Joshua, for the Israelites to follow. The fear and dread of the Israelites, following the parting of the Red Sea had already fallen on the inhabitants of Canaan. They could easily have taken Canaan at this point with their own physical efforts.  But God had given instructions which I believe, if they hadn’t followed they would not have achieved success. After what I like to call a praise and worship session, where the trumpeters were required to blow their trumpets and the people were required to shout, those formidable defence walls of Jericho, miraculously fell flat.

So as we’ve seen, the Bible is full of individuals who God has used mightily, but who often have a murky backstory like the spies. This reflects our own lives. We all have a story to tell. But whatever we’ve done in our past, God has already rolled away the stone of our reproach. It’s already settled it in Christ.

Whatever your experience of Christianity is, it’s time to leave the bystander’s position and recognise that the gospel is very messy and there are no super- holy Christians who follow God perfectly. 

So what’s your excuse? It’s time to walk free. Acknowledge God’s gift to you - Jesus Christ - and walk into your victory. Your ‘stone’ has already been rolled away.

Please like/ share this message!

Peacebrown

Crossing Jordan

My dearest readers, I want to share something so powerful, and I believe, pertinent to both current and future challenges that we all face/ will face.

Sorry for the sombre tone! But I promise you, it’s coupled with lots of hope and will equip you too.  

My studies and meditations on the book of Joshua have highlighted something really poignant about that River Jordan Crossing. The priests were carrying the ark of the covenant, which contained what we would now call  ‘the word of God’. We know the story well -  Joshua commissioned with the task of leading the Israelites to land promised to them. But promises from God are not always a walk in the park - they needed to cross Jordan first. We know that the waters were supernaturally parted for them. But I want to focus on the challenges that they may have faced. They were following Joshua’s instructions as given by God, but there was real water - ‘ troubles’ swirling at their feet declaring “death, failure, defeat”. 

Psalm 23:4 calls these threats a “shadow”. At this point, I was led to hold my hand up and watch its shadow on the wall in my bedroom. The message was, that the shadow was not real - my hand was. Now I am not belittling anyone’s troubles. They are definitely there and very real. The point is, when we carry God’s word into those troubles with us,  they are stripped of their power over us. Yes, we still hurt and feel pain. But that hurt and pain cannot cause us to fall apart. In fact, let me show you another “shadow”. One that is quite the opposite. 

Ps 91:1 says “He that dwells in the secret place of the Most High, shall abide under the SHADOW of the Almighty. Have you noticed the stark difference between the two “shadows”? In ps 23, The psalmist creates the image of  the shadow’s  transience. “Walking through” denotes, something that is not permanent. However, God’s ‘shadow’ in Psalm 91 uses words such as “dwells” and “abide”. God’s protection is permanent. It’s real. It has substance. It never leaves unless we remove ourselves from it.

The effects of troubles  “swirling” around our feet are very real - But I want you to focus on God’s  “shadow” of divine protection over your mind, over your loved ones and over your situation. Use those priests carrying the word of God as your model. Lay hold of these psalms and believe them in your heart. Meditate on them until they become more real than the turmoil.

Whatever happens, my friend, you will come through.

Please do comment and share!

Peacebrown.

The Power of “I was wrong”

Now I know that is definitely not an “I’ve just GOT To read this” title. And I agree, if there’s one thing that makes me inwardly cringe, is admitting when I am wrong. And I know I am not alone in that!

And have you noticed the way children are raised in “Progressive“ households? It leaves a lot to be desired. Never has there been a time like the present where parents refuse to tell their children when they are wrong. In a bid to reduce the epidemic of anxiety, most parents have chosen appeasement instead of correction. The result? Even more of these precious ones being raised without the resilience and strength of character needed to navigate to life.

We are a nation that has come to believe that we are right, even when we are actually wrong. We have a way of convincing ourselves - we have this internal monologue. It goes something like this: 

“Well I know that I shouldn’t have said. XXX, but what about the time when THEY did XXX”? 

Or we may give really lame apologies, like:

“I’m sorry, I hurt you, but you shouldn’t have XXX.”

Now my aim here is not to offend, but I would like to offer a piece of advice: can you move your “but“? 😂

If you’re going to apologise, let it be real - you know, from your heart, with a full stop at the end. If there’s one problem with society, I would say it’s  the lack of accountability. In case you haven’t noticed, there are several world wars threatening / raging even as I write this. And right at the core of these wars is an absolute absence of accountability.

But let’s think about ourselves as individuals. Let’s take a real honest look on the inside of ourselves. Just us and God. Do you have a trail of broken relationships? Are you carrying the pain of those broken relationships? Would you like to be free from that burden? The frustration, the anger…the unforgiveness? Do you remember that saying: “Unforgiveness is like taking poison and hoping the other person will suffer“? 

I believe in the Power of “I was wrong“. I’ve literally watched years of hostilities and divisions melt away before my eyes by speaking those words. Why? Because it allowed the Holy Spirit’s presence in, right at that moment, to restore peace.

There are two sides to every argument. And in your quiet time, with just you and the Lord, instead of thinking about what someone else has done to you, have a think about your own response to it. I’ve learned that life really isn’t about what’s happened to us - It’s more about how we come out on the other side. As Joyce Meyer says: “bitter or better”? For a moment, take the focus away from them, and place it on yourself. Now don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want anyone to go off on a guilt trip - that’s not what this is about. This is about owning our share in our own wrongdoing, and bringing our tender and precious heart to the one person in the world we can trust with it. Jesus. The only one who took all of our wrongdoings – sins– when he was the only one who was completely innocent. He had more right to be offended than anyone, regardless of how terribly you’ve been treated. But as you bring these very private and heartfelt issues before him, I believe he will release you from your burdens, and heal your relationships. I believe that relationships with estranged children, husbands, wives, friends and relatives will be wonderfully restored in a way that all of your arguments could never have resolved. I strongly believe that the one who opens deaf ears and releases the tongues of the dumb so that they can speak, can also heal every conflict: 

“And they were astonished beyond measure, saying, “He has done all things well. He makes both the deaf to hear and the mute to speak.””

‭‭Mark‬ ‭7‬:‭37‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/114/mrk.7.37.NKJV

 Jesus does all things well. 

Now, I can’t guarantee that’s when you begin to take Your first tentative steps towards healing those relationships that it will be plain sailing. There’s always a chance that the other person may not receive what you have to say in the way you would want them to. Just know that regardless, you have sought to carry out the Lord’s will, and given him space to work for you. Your job now is to keep that person (or those people ) in prayer, and allow God to continue to work on your heart. We are all a work in progress! 

My friends, find rest in Him now. Don’t wait - time is short. Do it now. 

If you like this message, please do share!

Peacebrown. 🙏🏽☺️

Easter Thoughts: Unconditional Love

Unconditional love - what does that even look like in a world where the representation of love is extremely conditional? 

In marriages, families and friendships I’ve seen this on repeat: it’s all petals and snowdrops until one party does something ‘unforgivable,’ or to coin a modern term, ‘crosses the line’. Question: what ‘line’ exactly? Who determines that?  Social media? Governmental institutions? Educational institutions? 

In case you haven’t noticed, all of those examples have failed abysmally at keeping their own standards, let alone dictating yours. ‘Flawed’ is an understatement. What about your own ‘line’? Your metaphorical line intimates perfection. That would suggest that you have a superior moral compass. There you go! Well done! 👏🏾😉You’ve met a thoroughly untainted standard of perfection because you’ve never done anything wrong - and you never will! 

Erm… I’m about to rain on your parade, and I make no  apologies. Do you see why this is so wrong? Putting it simply, you and I are just not perfect.  In fact, this is called ‘self righteousness’ and the Bible refers to it as ‘filthy rags’. (Isaiah 64:6). Now here’s a pretty gruesome thought - soiled sanitary pads would be the modern day equivalent to ‘filthy rags’. Therefore, neither you, nor I,  get to ‘cast the first stone’. (John 8:7). Think about this the next time you are offended.

Now let’s take a look at what real unconditional love looks like. Here is a section of Jesus’ prayer for His disciples, shortly before He was crucified:

“Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me: for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world.”

‭‭John‬ ‭17‬:‭24‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Here are a couple of nuggets for you: 

He loved us before the foundation of the world!!

and:

God loves us the same as He loves His Son. (John 17:23)

Remember, the innocent, flawless One - Jesus - was about to be crucified for the guilty and flawed mankind. He had real reason to be offended. Yet His focus was to pray for others. Before you or I ever did anything wrong or right, God loved us and still does. That will never change, despite our sin. You see, It was never about you DOING anything. And despite all of your deeds and accomplishments that you think are so wonderful, it will never meet God’s perfect, holy standard. Only Jesus meets this. It’s about what HE already did. That’s what salvation is. Accepting His love, given through His Son on the cross.

I encourage you to ponder these thoughts this Easter.  Just between you and the Father. If you’re carrying offence, ask him to heal your heart - yes, I didn’t say to ask God to fix them (whoever you’re offended at). When you let God in to your offended heart, you allow Him to deal with whoever you may think is at fault.

Similarly, if you’re holding back from letting Christ into your life, remember: He’s the real standard - the only standard. Nothing and no one else is flawless - including you.

This, my friend, is God’s unconditional love. This, is ‘Easter.’

Thanks for reading - please like, share and comment!

Running With Chains On

 

I re-read a story recently, about a lesser known, quite obscure character called Onesimus, who appears in the book of Philemon and Colossians. He was a runaway slave, and his story is thus: get comfy and enjoy!

Onesimus robbed his master and then fled to Rome, hoping to be lost in the crowded city. But his life took a dramatic turn when he encountered the Apostle Paul. In the providence of God, he met Paul and accepted Christ as his Savior. (It’s important to remember the context of the brutal Roman Empire at the time, where slavery was built into culture and law.)

Under Paul’s guidance and through the power of the Gospel, Onesimus experiences a spiritual awakening. The once wayward slave becomes a devoted follower of Christ. The chains of bondage that once shackled his body are replaced by the freedom found in Christ — a freedom that transcends earthly circumstances and societal labels.

While in Rome, Onesimus grew in his faith. The Apostle Paul taught him from the Scriptures, and Onesimus ministered to Paul in his imprisonment. As time passed, Paul knew that if Onesimus was to continue to mature in his faith, he needed to seek forgiveness from those he had wronged. Amid the flickering candlelight of his prison cell, Paul crafts a profound plea for forgiveness and reconciliation.

“Onesimus, whom I have begotten while in my chains, who once was unprofitable to you, but now is profitable to you and to me. I am sending him back. You therefore receive him, that is, my own heart, whom I wished to keep with me, that on your behalf he might minister to me in my chains for the gospel” (Philemon 10-13).

Ref: https://www.biblestudytools.com/bible-study/topical-studies/onesimus-a-lesser-known-story-with-a-lasting-impact.html

And the rest, is history. I’m sure that Philemon would have struggled with anger, frustration and bitterness. Under this system he would have been expected to punish, even execute his slave. But this slave was a changed man. He had received a freedom which physical chains could not rival. Under Paul’s guidance, he returned to his master and there is every suggestion in scripture that he was forgiven.

The Lord impressed upon me the powerful image of trying to run away from our troubles and things we’ve done wrong, whilst still bearing chains. We believe that if we immerse ourselves in various activities and pleasures to occupy our minds, we will receive relief from our suffering-whatever that may be - and the guilt and shame of our wrongdoings - sin. My sister, my brother, have you noticed a pattern? Your attempts to blot out whatever you are running from proves futile - your problem is still there, causing pain and bitterness. 

Please stop running.

Let go. 

You’ve tried it your way for long enough. There is One who is waiting to receive all of those troubles, if you let Him. And if you don’t know him, He will receive you lovingly into His arms, unlike the brutal regime of the Roman Empire. Troubles won’t  necessarily just disappear.  But now you’re not facing it alone - you have Someone who is far more able to carry them than you are. 

So stop, right where you are now, and determine that you will break the vicious cycle. Whisper this prayer:

God, I acknowledge that you love me and want to come into my situation/ life. I’m giving it to you now. I’ve been running in chains and it’s got me nowhere. Please forgive me Lord. Thank you that now I have your strength, these chains are falling off. Chains of loss, bitterness, emptiness, loneliness, financial struggles, family struggles, marital challenges, health challenges, hidden sexual desires, identity confusion - I’m looking forward to placing all of this into your hands, knowing that you are not condemning me. (Romans 8:1). I’m looking forward to doing life with you, in your strength and not my own anymore.

Amen.

Be patient my friend, it won’t change overnight, but if you’ve prayed this prayer sincerely, change is already beginning to happen. Be consistent, and it will manifest.  

God bless you!!

Peacebrown.

Genesis Wasn’t the Beginning

Yes! I did say that Genesis wasn’t the beginning! But before you hurl stones at me for blasphemy, continue reading!

“In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.”

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭1‬:‭1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/1/gen.1.1.KJV

If you carry on reading, you’ll see a fascinating setting depicted, with the Spirit of God hovering over the face of the  waters.  There are words and phrases  such as ‘without form’, ‘waters’ and ‘light’ which all relate to our physical world as we know it now. This is our beginning - not God’s. 

Now let’s check out another beginning - I’d like to call it God’s beginning but that’s inaccurate, as He has no beginning or ending: 

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God.”

‭‭John‬ ‭1‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭KJV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/1/jhn.1.2.KJV

So there it is, the eternal presence of The Word - Jesus - prior to this world’s existence.  So why is this so important? I’m glad you asked! 

Well, you only need to read up to verse two in Genesis 1 to discover the first mention of “darkness“. This is not only literal, but it indicates our first hint of something very wrong – the first suggestion of sin. But read on to verse three: 

‘then God said, “let there be light”, and there was light’. 

Have you ever wondered how there was ever any light before the sun was even created?  Check it out - 

“In him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.”

‭‭John‬ ‭1‬:‭4‬-‭5‬ ‭KJV‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/1/jhn.1.4-5.KJV

Answer: God is light - He doesn’t need it to be created, as He is the source. But don’t overlook verse four! He’s not only Light, but this Light also represents our lives. Ok, now we’re getting somewhere!  Keep that very dark image in Genesis 1 in mind. Then imagine the absolutely huge deal it was when God spoke the words: ‘Let there be light’. He was calling what was already present, into this physical realm. He was placing Himself firmly amongst mankind, with the foreknowledge  of all of the darkness of sin that mankind would embrace. He was choosing to come and ‘dwell among men’, with the foreknowledge that mankind would whip, pierce, batter, and leave  him for dead with a mocking thorny crown pressed firmly upon His very human head. 

As if that wasn’t enough to ponder, ponder this: Why would He choose to even create us then? I remember my daughter asking me this when she was still quite young, and never ever having an answer. However, the question hung over me for many years and I often asked God about it. One day, through meditating on the scripture above from John 1 and Genesis 1, along with many other scriptures, the Holy Spirit began to unveil more of God’s character to me. I realised what it actually means for God to exist eternally, outside of time. You see, just as his light existed before the sun, with God, we already existed prior to being physically made. With God, there is no future - he’s already there. What he’s already done, cannot be undone. That is really quite mind blowing!  

Let’s go a little deeper. If God, The Eternal Word, the Light of men – if 

what he says has already been done, then what would happen if we decided to speak what he speaks? What would our lives look like then? I mean remember, we do have the existence of darkness so it’s never going to be a perfect existence. That’s worth remembering. But how much could we change the trajectory of our lives and the lives of those around us if we were to speak like Him? To say what He says when we’re in a crisis, or about to make a life changing decision?

Think about the worst moment or moments of your life. How did you come through it? That determines whether you come out “bitter or better“. (Courtesy of Joyce Meyer).  Did you go through it being angry at God, thinking you deserved better? Did you go through it telling God about all the good that you’ve done instead of remembering the One who is good? You can answer this question by having an honest look at your heart and seeing what lies there. God knows anyhow. Remember, that existence of darkness. Sin is prevalent in the world and evil does happen. But good always trumps evil– dependent upon whether you go through it with God or go through it complaining to the One who is good. The trail that you leave behind you testifies to what you believe and what words you’ve been saying. What does your life look like?

I’m no stranger to disappointment and heartache. You’re probably the same. But one thing I absolutely refuse to say is “this is the worst day of my life “. I just don’t have a “worst day“ because the truth is, after every single onslaught of darkness, I’m still here and God still loves me. Where I was is not where I’ve chosen to stay. And what has happened is not what defines me. God has so much more for me - and for you. And there is absolutely no circumstance that will stop me from telling how much greater this Light is than the darkness.  No bitterness. Just a burning passion to share this message of the eternal love of God with you. If darkness could win, we’d all be snuffed out by now! That alone speaks of just how much more power our God, who is Light, has.

We’re about to enter 2025. Take these words to heart, and decide on a new beginning - with God. He’s waiting, not to condemn you, but to bring you to a real safe place of truth. Wherever you find yourself in this journey called ‘life’, remember - He is our beginning. He’s also our end. And He’s chosen to step into life with you - will you let Him?