When our children struggle through pressing issues, such as depression, gender uncertainty, homosexuality, addictions, or anything else, make sure you are giving the correct report about them. Don't simply condemn them in your frustration, even though you yourself are feeling overwhelmed and battle-weary. Even if it's through gritted teeth, make sure you are giving the correct report about your child. In other words, say what God's Word says, not what you feel.
In John 4:46-53, we're told about a Nobleman whose son was at the point of death. This was in Cana, where Jesus had miraculously turned water to wine at a wedding. So this Nobleman would have had this event at the forefront of his mind - recalling what Jesus had done previously, giving rise to faith in reaching out to Jesus. What came out of his mouth however, was the fear-stricken statement - "my son dies!"
What words do you say about, or to, your child as they face their seemingly unending struggle? Do you say: " I've tried everything, and nothing works". Or do you, in a weary, stressed, I've-got-nothing-left moment tell them they're good for nothing? Please don't condemn yourself over this - I'm not condoning it, but beating yourself up isn't helpful - it actually gives the devil an inroad for all sorts of lies about yourself. It's time to hear a better report. The words you've spoken may be similar to the Nobleman's. Maybe the situation does appear to be `dead', or hopeless. But what was Jesus's report? "Go your way, your son lives." `Go your way' to me means that as far as possible, continue to live your life. Don't stop everything you would normally do because of what you're facing. Things may need to be altered, or rescheduled, but keep on living. It can seem a pretty tall order when our child may be at the point of literal or metaphorical death! But the point is, you need to trust God enough to take your hands off the situation, because as long as they're on it, He cannot deal with it. It really is too big for you, so change the narrative. By continuing in this way, with scriptures like the one above to stand on, you're allowing God in. By the way, the Nobleman's son indeed, did live, and so will your child.
Anyway, here are some practical tips to help through those rough terrains:
- Whenever your mind is bombarded with replays of things which you or they've said and done, maybe in angry outbursts, speak aloud: "my child lives". Make it a habit, several times a day or however many times it takes. In this way, you are speaking the Word of God and giving it free reign in your circumstances - which means the devil no longer has freedom to continue to cause turmoil.
- Get an image on the inside of your mind as you speak these words, of what your child "living" looks like. Maybe you see them at peace, enjoying life in a way they aren't right now. Or maybe it's a physical, long-term illness. See them doing what they haven't been able to. Get that picture in your head and the Word in your mouth.
- Last, but definitely not least, make God's Word your priority. Not only will it paint the true image of God's great plan for you and your child's life, but it will set your mind straight - "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he". Proverbs 23:7. Or as I like to say: "where the mind goes the man follows."
Look up my brother, my sister, things are about to change!
